


LONELY

by NIGHTLYHAO



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Humor, I swear there is a happy ending, M/M, Multi, the main ship is hongwon because it is their era and no one can deny it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 13:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NIGHTLYHAO/pseuds/NIGHTLYHAO
Summary: "IT WAS A LIE WHEN THEY SMILED, AND SAID YOU WON'T FEEL A THING."





	LONELY

**Author's Note:**

> the summary is lyrics from disenchanted by my chemical romance whoops. also, all of these places are real! they are located in santa ana, california.

_“you can love someone so much…but you never love people as much as you can miss them.” — john green_

 

    hongseok’s vision blurred as his mind wrestled for rest, yet he still furiously scribbled the same phrase continuously. the muscles in his hand retained every subtle movement, allowing the words to spill across the page almost fluidly, even though drowsiness threatened to drag him away from his state of consciousness. _yang elora, i love you,_ it read. there was part of him that wished she could hear him say that before taking her final breaths, but alas, the world was a cruel enigma.

 

    he was met with an undeniable hollowness upon the passing of his wife. no one would ever be able to experience the radiance of her trademark smile, the warmth of her embraces, or her comforting presence that could exude security. the numerous thoughts of her prompted hongseok’s hands to tremble slightly with anger, causing the pen to roll from his weak grasp. the resonance of the utensil against the worn surface of his desk sent his mind whirling back to where all of his suffering began. his safe place had transformed into the object of his nightmares. he watched silently, as he always did. there was no contradicting the anxiousness that caused his heart to slam against his rib cage. there was no use trying to fight the force that kept bringing him back to this place, for he believed there was an underlying reason.

 

    as if on queue, the doctors wheeled elora’s stretcher across the glimmering tiles of the hospital. the place where she last laid was void of a body. the usual petite nurse entered the waiting room, sporting her fucking sorry excuse of a sympathetic smile as she came to a halt in front of the uncomfortable chair hongseok inhabited. “we give you and mrs. yang’s family our condolences. unfortunately, we were unable to treat her effectively,” she explained solemnly. _you couldn’t have tried hard enough._ the same salty tears made their appearance as they trickled down his sunken cheeks.

 

    the imaginary hell had faded back to the familiar scenery of his bedroom. a dull ache crept up his forearm, which seemed to be the result of knocking it against the desk in the act of reaching to grasp his hair in his dazed grief. morning light struck his brilliant skin through the thin fabric of his curtains, producing heat that now crawled up his chilled limbs. hongseok simply resented the fact he was met with the image of her last night quite frequently, but at the same time he never wanted to abandon it because it kept him from being completely swallowed by the loneliness that loomed ominously overhead.

 

    small ribbons of vapor danced in the air, reminding him of the welcoming caramel flavor that the cappuccino beside him would provide. he reached out for the red ceramic mug, warmth seeping into his skin immediately after contact. he brought it close to his mouth to blow on the substance in an attempt to cool it enough to consume it. coffee was one of the only things that kept the floor from swaying beneath his feet, or at least the illusion of it. the sweet bliss of sleep had chosen to abandon his lifestyle after the passing of his dear wife.

 

    usually, hongseok can be found sprawled across his duvet, awaiting her familiar voice to call from the front door. it had been two years, and he was aware it would not come any time soon. today, he felt he should take a step outside of his usual routine. he became accustomed to the silence of his commute to work, but maybe he could spare some time to call the local carpool service. they could provide him with a companion, and possibly he could move on from his depressive period.

 

    he lifted his cellphone off the desk to be met with the numbers 06:28 A.M. flashing across his screen. it was around the time he should probably get ready to leave for work. it seemed wise to attempt contacting the company while he was eating his breakfast in the kitchen.

 

    he rose from his chair, shaking slightly as a result of sleep deprivation and hunger. he made his way to the closet to pick out a crisp suit for his future duties at the law firm today. he placed it gently on his bed before abandoning it in favor of getting a warm shower. he pulled open the closet door before grabbing a beige, fluffy towel, and hanging it up beside the shower curtain. he twisted the faucet, and then proceeded with his normal washing routine.

 

    hongseok reached for his blow dryer, and attempted to thoroughly dry and untangle his hair, however, similar to most occurrences, his locks are still a bit damp as he exits the bathroom door. he couldn’t manage to care less about how dry his hair was anyway.

 

    he retraced his steps that would lead to the bedroom, where he would be able to slip into his suit. he smoothed down the nonexistent wrinkles from his grey blazer, as he gazed at his image in the full-length mirror. he was disappointed by the heavy-lidded eyes that stared back him. he always imagined himself living the _perfect_ life, but, in this instance, he received the opposite end of the stick in most aspects.

 

    hongseok loathed what he became. he would _kill_ to finally escape the reach of his nightmares. as of lately, he decided to let his emotions dictate his life, and as a result, he wanted nothing more than to find some source of relief. whether it came from unexpected sources or not, he was desperate for something to be in his possession. he sighed deeply before looking down at the carpeted floor. _elora wouldn’t have wanted this for me._

 

    he left the mirror in favor of making his way towards the kitchen to prepare a small meal before he was forced to leave his confinement. the one and only, lee hwitaek, would be on his ass in mere seconds if he figured out that he possibly missed a meal. he usually came over often, just to see how hongseok was faring. his friends have put so much effort into the partial closure of his pity party, and he never felt he could repay that debt in full.

 

    he cracked open the door of his pantry and grabbed a poptart. he tore open the aluminum-esque wrapping, and popped the pastries into the toaster. in all honesty, they were only acceptable when warm. he stood up on the top of his toes in order to reach a plate from the top shelf before placing it on the granite counter. he was suddenly hit with the reminder that he needed to call the local carpool service. hongseok opened a tab on google, and searched the name. he clicked on the contact information, which the phone automatically dialed.

 

    “hello, this is waze, how can we be of service to you this morning,” the woman relayed smoothly, obviously the result of repeating it during every call.

 

    “i was wondering if there was a chance i could get someone to carpool with on the way to chamber’s law firm,” hongseok responded almost instantly. the whole concept of letting go made him giddy just by the thought of it.

 

    “as a matter of fact, there is one person. i believe he works at that establishment,” she paused to let out a rather intense cough, “his name is koh shinwon. he is currently waiting at his residence on north euclid street. the address is 820. we will notify him that you are coming.”

 

    “thank you,” he said, a genuine smile creeping up his face. he disconnected the call, and pondered what he would be met with upon arrival.

 

+

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i promise more will come out soon. i truly enjoyed writing this. if you want to yell at me about pentagon my twt is @xSHINKURA!


End file.
